Thursday, November 13, 2008
Today I had the hiccups. Twice. And these were not the cute girl hiccups you see in movies. Why can't I get those kind? You know, the little dainty, feminine, am-I-doing-this-on-purpose-to-seem-cute kind? No, mine are semi-violent. They're more I'm-having-a-conversation-and-suddenly-scare-everyone-including-myself kind. During the forty-five plus minutes that they lasted today, I avoided phone conversations and went in and out of rooms at work quickly so as to avoid leaving people with the thought that I was either possessed or had Touretts. They come unexpectedly and I can never seem to figure out what started it. Did I drink that glass of water too fast? Standard straw delivery. Not drinking enough water? 4 glasses by lunch. Or maybe something I ate? Leftovers. Did I stop breathing and just not notice? Highly unlikely. The next natural step: Wikipedia. According to Wikipedia there's a possibility that my hiccups are an evolutionary remnant of amphibian respiration. Does this mean I'm reverting to amphibian state or that I'm part amphibian? I can jump pretty far. Maybe this makes sense. Ok, not in a million years. Also encouraging news from Wikipedia, the Guiness Book of World Records has the longest noted case of hiccups - 68 years. So the upside is that I have a chance at a world record. The funny thing about having the hiccups is that everyone feels like they have The Hiccup Cure. Everyone has their recommended home remedy. Hold your breath as long as you can. Long, deep breaths. Drink a glass of water and then hold your breath. Drink a glass of water while pinching your nose. Drink a glass of water with a penny in it. Eat a spoonful of mustard. And my personal favorite, have someone scare you beyond all reason. There's always a volunteer for that one. And everyone swears that their cure works. From my experience, I'm not sure there's a one-size-fits-all cure for the hiccups. Just about the time I was resigning myself to become the world record hiccup holder - they disappeared! It wasn't gradual. They were just gone! Oh well, I'll go for the Gold next Hiccup Season!